The five worst English football pop songs

By James Cambridge, Livio Caferoglu and Jeorge Bird

Euro 2012 gets underway this week and, amidst all the excitement, some of the most enduring memories are of the questionable songs that accompany the team. England have had their fair share of disappointments at major competitions, and it’s safe to say that many of their anthems have gone the same way.

So, without further adieu, here are our top-five worst England football songs.

Straight in at number one is this year’s unofficial England song, ‘Sing 4 England‘, by Sky Sports’ Mr Unbelievable Chris Kamara. Sadly, it’s unbelievably bad and just doesn’t cut the mustard. It’s safe to say this one will soon be consigned to the history books.

At number two is Keith Allen’s, dare we say it, classic, ‘Vindaloo‘. With lyrics such as “Can I introduce you please to a lump of cheddar cheese”, how could it fail? Well, it does. The entire song is a mismatch of melodic chants and catchy nonsense; the perfect recipe for a hit with drunken fans.

A close third is Ant and Dec’s ‘We’re On The Ball‘. The Geordie duo’s 2002 World Cup effort certainly wasn’t a flop, reaching number three in the charts, but it still couldn’t prevent the customary quarter-final exit for England, or avoiding our damned list.

At four is another Keith Allen production, ‘World in Motion‘. Despite commercial success and being backed by electronic music pioneers New Order, the song could do little to stop a semi-final penalty exit to the Germans. Still, at least the infamous John Barnes rap solo will live long in the memory.

And at number five in our countdown is ‘Three Lions‘, by Baddiel & Skinner. The track utilises some classic pieces of commentary and is guaranteed to get the adrenaline pumping before a big game, but it is now looking dated with the original ‘30 years of hurt’ now extended to 46.

To gain some professional insight into what’s hot and what’s not on planet England songs, we managed to catch Goal.com’s Turkey expert Enis Koylu, who despite his position, is really an Englishman at heart…

Listen to excerpts from our exclusive interview below, and be sure to hear the belter served up by the Posh and Becks of politics – Neil and Christine Hamilton, from 2006:

#1 – We’re On The Ball/Three Lions

#2 – World In Motion

#3 – Vindaloo

#4 – Sing 4 England

#5 – Special Mentions: England Are Jolly Dee!

(Apologies for the poor quality of some of the audio).

Photos by James Cambridge

Shake the remote – Zumba expands

 

By Jade Grassby and Edite Garjane

Zumba. It’s the Latin-inspired dance fitness craze that has impacted gyms and fitness centres around the world and across London. With the release of the accompanying video game, the Zumba Fitness party has now spread to our homes.

It all began when an aerobics instructor from Colombia, Alberto ‘Beto’ Perez, rolled up to a class one day in the mid-nineties without the music. Improvising, he put on a few of his own tapes of salsa and meringue music and started up a spontaneous “fitness party”. Zumba has since become the world’s largest dance fitness programme with more than 12 million people taking weekly classes in over 110,000 locations across more than 125 countries.

With ‘virtual’ Zumba now popular in homes, has the popularity of going to real classes begun to decline?

Lauren Van Veen, an instructor and founder of Zumba Fitness London, doesn’t believe the sharp increase in the Zumba game sales has threatened the popularity of the class: “When you’re in a class, the vibe is different. Everyone’s shouting and cheering, which is not present when you do it on your own. And just the act of going to the class is exciting.

She says that the benefit of working out at home is that dancers can go at their own pace and she notes that  Zumba is an intense class. Lauren says that if people haven’t exercised for a long time, they might feel self-conscious about their ability to keep up with the class. “But once you have experienced a class, it’s different.”

Claire, 26, a member of a  Zumba class in Old Street, London, says despite owning the Zumba video game, she prefers the classes. “I use the Wii only when I can’t get to the classes. It isn’t the same as the class, where you push yourself to the limits much more.”